Relationships

My last draft started with the sentence ‘Human relationships suck.’ This is a phrase I frequently use. Today however, I feel a little bit more optimistic and I look upon this subject with a light of hope. No, I have not changed my mind (most of you know how hard that is…) but I think there might be expectancy of a change of heart. Pun intended.

The fact that people get together for totally wrong reasons, unfortunately still stands. Our loneliness is something that drives us to do things that are terrible. We lie, we cheat and say and do things that we don’t mean, and all that for no apparent reason – just to save ourselves from the ‘misery’ of being ‘single.’ The judging looks from aged aunts and coupled up friends, the unspoken notion that ‘something must be wrong with you’ since you haven’t found that special someone, the coming-back-home-to-no-one taboo and our own mother going on about grandchildren and pregnancy lead to a society made for couples and not individuals.

I believe that this situation defines the dreams and feelings people are ‘allowed’ to have. You have to marry and have kids, you have to find a job that pays well so that your children go to a private school, you have to have enough money to pick up your kid in a BMW from school, your wife or your husband need to be very beautiful and fit (mental qualities are not of interest) and lastly you need an expensive mansion so you can invite your mates to watch the football match in. Interpersonal communication and happiness are not issues of significance to our society. No one truly loves anyone and most people don’t even know who or what they seek.

Most get involved with the first random – kind of cute – person they find on their way. Their prosperity and success is only measured by how beautiful, rich or cool the person they managed to land is. We don’t take into account intelligence; we only care about connections and exclusivity.

On the one side we have the ‘children-men’ who are not able to fully become men and they linger between childhood and adolescence and on the other side we have ‘girl-sluts’ (I am referring to numbers of sexual partners) secretly looking for a prince on his white (black) horse (Honda) to swipe them off their feet (parent’s house) and become their all-forgiving, all-providing slaves. For better or for worse, Till death do us part. Obviously not, is the usual answer. The vows (of the extremely expensive wedding) only last until one of them meets a better half (with a bigger horse or a bigger number of sexual partners) and the process is then identically repeated. The saddest thing is that society encourages such behavior.

‘Children-men’ buy new gaming consoles as they come out, cool/useless/pointless/insert-your-favorite gadgets and argue about football with their friends. The ‘girl-sluts’ buy the fanciest high-heels, the tightest jeans they can fit in and the most expensive make-up in the hope that they will be able to distract their boyfriends just for a moment from the TV set. It is obvious why an economy-driven society encourages this.

The drama created is unbelievable. Girls meet with their friends (between manicure and hairdresser appointments) to talk about the ‘hints’ (or lack of them) that their boyfriends provide. This is a pleasant break from the rest of their day which involves shopping (-therapy, since they need it after their last row with their boyfriend about which club they will entertain themselves tonight), being bored at work, talking on their mobile, texting and watching idiotic afternoon TV shows. The guys in the mean time are out checking new girls (although they are adamant that they are in love with their girlfriend), drinking beers with their mates, driving their noisy motorbike, dreaming of getting another (noisier) motorbike (even if they bought theirs a month ago), playing video games, dreaming of having a Lego factory and jerking off to porn (work is not included due to the lack of it – daddy still provides for them).

This is what ‘quality of life’ is termed as presently. This is what people do to fill their days (well, evenings since a day typically starts at 2 p.m.) and lives. This is what it takes to be able to have a ‘partner.’ So, my argument is that the fact that single people are looked upon as being ‘wrong’ and miserable, when the relationships are based on capitalism (of all things!), is at least stupid. Our society is dipped in a pool of misery and resists swimming and getting out of it. You might say that not all relationships are like that. Yes, I agree. However, the majority of them are like that and I find this alarming. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

To conclude my bitter rant, I believe we can change this situation if we all were more careful on who we choose to be with, for what reasons and what we expect from our relationships. Judging from the above, the person who said that ignorance is bliss is an idiot – if ignorance was bliss the world would be a much happier place. A last advice to all the males who do not belong to the ‘children-men’ category… Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.